Fortune cookies

Several weeks (or maybe by now it is months) ago we enjoyed one of our favorite types of food – Chinese food.  I am always amused by the fortune cookies and wonder what my fortune will be.  Usually it is something mundane and doesn’t speak to me. I rarely save these things, because I don’t really believe that they are telling MY fortune.  But on this particular day, I actually felt like that fortune cookie was meant for me. 

It said: “Where there is a will, there is a way.”  

It was after our loss of the twins, at a time that I really, truly felt like maybe we were destined not to be parents.   We had briefly discussed adoption and surrogacy, but we were too early in our grief to move forward on anything.  Regardless, it made me stop and think about whether we would regret just giving up.  It felt like we had already endured so much to become parents, I wasn’t sure I could endure much more – my “will” was starting to get weak. 

I was cleaning my desk the other day, and came across that fortune.  It brought tears to my eyes.  Since I am now in the throes of our paperwork and process to prepare for a domestic infant adoption, I am hoping that the fortune is true – and that somehow (hopefully soon) we will fulfill our dream of being parents.  And that all of this effort and heartbreak, the sheer force of my “will” can help us find “a way”.

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11 Responses to Fortune cookies

  1. Fortune cookie or no, I definitely believe that in most things within our control or grasp, where there is a will there is a way. God, I hope so.

  2. Jenny says:

    I just found you in the LFCA and wanted to stop in to say hi.

    Our time-lines for loss were similar – I got a BFP in May, membranes ruptured in Sept and our little one was born & died in October. I am so very sorry that your Quinn & Trace – and the heartbreak of being told you shouldn’t fall pregnant again on top of that…I have nothing to say except I’m so sorry, but glad you didn’t give up on your dream of becoming a mum.

    I look forward to watching your progress through the adoption process and hope it brings a little one into your home as soon as possible!

    • New Normal says:

      Thanks Jenny. I hate the circumstances that brought us together – no mother should have to endure this. Thanks for stopping by and lending support. I hope your next fertility treatments bring you a healthy and happy baby that you so deserve.

  3. Rebecca says:

    Stopping by from LFCA. I’m so incredibly sorry for the loss of your twins, losing your children after struggling with infertility is so painful unfair. Holding hope for you that the adoption process brings you the desires of your heart & moves forward smoothly!

  4. Natalie says:

    Keep your will strong. Sometimes that is all we have. That and the hope that there is something better out there. Good luck.

  5. Kir says:

    I beleive in all those little things that push us forward, all those little signs the universe gives us to remind us we’re not really alone…to keep going…to hope.
    I am here from the blogroudup and I am heartly sorry for your loss…
    but am believing in that little voice that the universe gave you…whispering “there IS a will. ”

    HUGS to you.

  6. Jem says:

    This IF thing demands a TON of will. I hope you do have that fortune framed over the crib(s) in your new nursery, just like Mel said. I wish you all the best for your adoption.

  7. Sarang says:

    As someone also just beginning the domestic adoption process, I, too, hope you find your way. May it be a beautiful path.

    • New Normal says:

      Sarang, I would love to follow your adoption journey if you would have me along for the ride – I think I would need an invitation to access it. Wishing you a speedy process that brings exactly the right child to you!

  8. Katie says:

    Hi Sue,
    I admire your strength. I really hope that your dreams come true soon.
    I feel so sad for you and your husband’s journey….and after reading your blog
    tonight…I feel hopeful for you both. Take Care bye Katie

  9. Pingback: One Year | Finding A New Normal

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