6 months ago today I became a mother. 6 months ago today, my first born son died.
This upcoming date has been on my mind for quite some time. And although there has been a tremendous amount of other stuff going on in my life to distract me, I woke up this morning thinking of that day. 6 months, seems so recent, and yet seems so long ago. The day my life was changed forever. I pray that it remains the worst day of my life.
I can barely remember the person I was before I was pregnant with the twins. But, I no longer hate the person that I am after losing them. Progress comes in small steps I guess.
Aside from the hour I spent thinking of that day and my boys in the pre-dawn hours this morning, I was very busy with other things today. Things that distracted me and reminded me that life does go on. Not always the way I imagined, but I’m trying to take the pieces and make a new picture – hoping that it will be beautiful in its own way.
Quinn and Trace – my precious boys, you are in my heart and mind, and my heart still bursts with overwhelming love for you both. I am missing you something fierce today and wishing that things were different.