I would be interested to hear how other baby loss mamas have honored the first anniversary of the birth of babies who were born and taken away too soon?
Things I have read were planting a tree, releasing balloons, going to the beach and writing their names in the sand, sprinkling their ashes.
Silly as it sounds, I worry the tree might die, or something would go wrong interfering with the balloons or sand writing – or maybe that it might just all seem staged and forced rather than thoughtful and loving.
Although I don’t want this to be all about me, that is exactly how it feels. After all, is a memorial or ritual to honor the dead really for those that we lost, or for us who are left behind?
Did anyone choose to do nothing, and not regret that choice?
I’m trying to be present in feeling my grief anew as the big day gets closer. Is it avoiding pain to focus on helping others or being supportive?
A long time friend of mine’s daughter entered the hospital a few days ago (a year to the day from when I was admitted), and as I write this, her water has broke and this 15 week gestation baby is coming and we know 15 weeks is far too soon. I am devastated for her, and feel like I have some idea of what is ahead of her. I wish there was some way I could make this easier on her, but I know that no one can. But I do remember how much I valued the support of those who had been through similar grief before me.
I guess now I am at a new stage of grief that needs some more mama wisdom, so I welcome advice or suggestions. How to honor, celebrate or should we do nothing if nothing feels right?