Seeking Approval

First, thanks to everyone who has stopped offering their support – it is really so very kind and makes me a bit teary to know that so many people care about me and the short but poignant lives of my twin boys Trace and Quinn. 

One of the ways I have been distracting myself from the grief in the past few weeks was working on our adoption “profile” – basically the corporate brochure of potential adoptive parents that is shown to birth moms for them to pick the adoptive parents for their child. 

This was somewhat of a two steps forward, one step back kind of process – trying to balance our style (let’s face it, we’re not 20 year olds) with what will appeal to a birth mom (typical demographic is in her 20s already parenting a child).  I started with a scrapbook-y feel that was more cutesy and just wasn’t coming together well – perhaps because it really wasn’t representing us and our style.  

So, Sunday night DH and I sat down and completely re-worked the design into a completely different vibe – one that is more contemporary and in reality, probably a better representation of us.   After all, the goal is not just to be picked, but to truly be a good “match” with what that specific birth mom is looking for in prospective parents and what situations we are hoping for as well.  

Once this profile is done, we will be officially shown to birth moms – so it is a critical step and one that feels a bit like it has a ticking clock behind it.  The pressure to get it done was all created by me – but I still had an urgency to get it done well and quickly.  Both so I could cross it off of the list, but moreso because it means we are one step closer to a baby (or babies) in the house.  Gosh – hard to believe it could become a reality after all of these years. 

So, last night I sat down to work on the profile again.  It is amazing how quickly time flies when I’m working on a project like that.  Next thing I know it is 5am.  I pulled an all-nighter!  I guess that is someething I think will become routine once a baby comes home, so maybe it was just good practice.  But, I got it done.  DONE!  Well, at least done to my satisfaction, it still has to pass hubby’s approval.  And, more importantly, it needed to be approved by our agency/attorney case worker (who, by the way, has been invaluable in providing us input to make it as good as possible yet still representative of our style).  

Imagine my relief when today the good news came from our case worker that our profile is approved and we can get it printed now.  Phew! 

That news comes with a mixture of excitement & anticipation, and complete hanging off of a cliff by your fingernails fear.  Until now, this adoption process has all been a little nebulous – no one was being shown our file yet, so there was no anticipation of a phone call with news of a match.  Now it becomes very real.  We could get a call any day…..or not for a year.  Oh, I have a feeling a lesson in patience may be on its way.